Q: If a Blonde and a Brunette jumped off a tower, which one would splat first?
A: The brunette. The blonde would have to ask for directions.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a whole brain?
A: A Golden Retriever.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: Why aren't blondes given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: So they'll have a place to rest their ankles.

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.

Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

Q: What's the mating call of an ugly blonde?
A: "I said, I'm *sooo* drunk!"

Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
A: "All the blondes have gone home!"

Q: What is 74 to a blonde?
A: 69 plus tax.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits Go In Front.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: A translator.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A: Introduces herself.
A: Goes home.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

Q: What's a blonde's favorite wine?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
A: All you can eat, for under a buck.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.

Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because you wash vegetables there!

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.

Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Gee, Are you sure it's mine?"

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A: The dumb blonde - the other three don't exist.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: What do you see when you peer into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.

Q: How does a blonde turn on the lights after sex?
A: She opens up the car door.

Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: You can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
A: A toilet won't follow you around when you're done using it.

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A: Don't tell her not to swallow.

Q: What do blondes and cow pies (or buffalo chips) have in common?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Catch it, pull out the pin and throw it back.

Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: A waste.

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: Why does a blonde take the pill?
A: So she knows what day it is.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: It kept falling out.

Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.

Q: What did the blonde say when asked "ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
A: "No, but I've been swung around by the tits."

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.

Q: How does a blonde part her hair?
A: By doing the splits.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: Two...one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.
A: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
A: You can't fit a blonde inside a bowling ball

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A: They know how many men went down on the Titanic.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: Why was the blonde proud to finish her jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
A: The box said "2-4 years."

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
A: Not everybody has been in a limo.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: 69 interrupted by a period.

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Q: Why did the blonde go halfway to Norway then turn around & come home?
A: It took her that long to figure out a 14 inch Viking was a TV set.

Q: What do a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang them, the looser they get.

Q: What does a blonde say after she's had sex?
A: "Gee...are all you guys on the same team?"

Q: How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blonde?
A: Bucket seats.

Q: What important question does a blonde ask her mate before sex?
A: "By the hour, or flat rate?"

Q: What's the difference between your blonde wife and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool?
A: Someone stuck a scratch & sniff at the bottom.

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.

Q: What is a blonde's favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply

Q: Why did the blonde have a bruised navel?
A: Her boyfriend is blonde, also.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms or legs?
A: "Nice tits!"

Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
A: When they do the splits they stick to the floor.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: What does a blonde and a tampon have in common?
A: They're both stuck up cunts!

Q: How do you get a blonde to laugh at a joke on Friday ?
A: Tell it to her on Monday.

Q: What job does a blonde have at an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing away the W's.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Give her M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.

Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E, between M and W, or at the end?"

Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a briefcase?
A: Branch Manager

Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: 'Cause everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
A: You need a quarter to use the phone.
A: Only one person can use the phone at once.

Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.

Q: What does a blonde make for dinner?
A: Reservations.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common?
A: Both have black roots.

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Cause she blows the horn!!!!!

Q: How do blonde brain cells die ?
A: Alone.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9...

Q: Why do blondes have orgasm's ?
A: So they know when to stop having sex

Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have a black box.
A: Both have a cockpit.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: Why don't blondes breast feed their babies?
A: Because it's too painful to boil the nipples.

Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead!

Q: Why was the blonde depressed when she received her driver's license?
A: Because she got an F in sex.

Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Q: What do you call a Prostitute and Four Blondes?
A: Regular price, Four bucks, Four bucks, Four bucks, Four bucks.

Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree

Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An Air Bag

Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.

Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.

Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought.

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide-and-seek champ.

Q: How would a blonde punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"
A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!

Q: Why do blondes tattoo their zip code under their belly button?
A: So they can get the male into the right box.

Q: Why did they call the blonde "Twinkie"?
A: She was always being filled with cream.

Q: Why aren't BLONDES good cattle herders?
A: Because the can't even keep two calves together!

Q: Why do blondes have bruises around their belly buttons?
A: Not all blondes are women!

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

Q: Why has the Virgin Mary always been portrayed as a brunette?
A: Because, she wouldn't have been a virgin if she was blonde.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?
A: One's a bunch a cunning runts and the other is a bunch of running cunts.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.

Q: What's the difference between a BLONDE and the Panama Canal?
A: Ones a busy ditch and ones a dizzy bitch.

Q: What do you call six blondes lying on the floor?
A: An air mattress.

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.

Q: Why did god give blondes 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road?
A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's dyke in a bitch.

Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
A: She can't say "No".

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.

Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A: They're doing research on black holes.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.

Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says "Are you done already?" The blonde says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.

Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing - they've never met.

Q: Why did the blonde wear Condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing AIDeS.

Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievement?
A: An IN-body experience!

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Blow in her ear.
A: Buy her another beer.

Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

Q: How do you get a blonde off of your knees?
A: Cum.

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: A blonde going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.

Q: How do you know a blonde likes you?
A: She screws you two nights in a row.

Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A: Her crayons are still sticky.

Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.

Q: What do you call a blonde mother-in-law?
A: An air bag.

Q: What nickname is most used by blondes in order to boost their popularity?
A: B.J.

Q: Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped?
A: Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.

Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.

Q: Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
A: They have to pull their own pants down.

Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?
A: It's too hard to re-train them.

Q: What do blonde virgins eat?
A: Baby food.

Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "Next!"

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus.

Q: What is foreplay for a blonde?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
A: Removing their underwear.

Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A: She drops her nail-file!
A: She says, "Next".
A: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A: The batteries have run out.

Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized.

Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.

Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
A: One's a phony buck and one's a bony fuck.

Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts and a chorus line has a stunning array of cunts.

Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: One that never misses a period.

Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: An Italian suppository.

Q: What does a blonde say during a porno?
A: There I am!!

Q: Why doesn't a blondes guts fall out of her pussy when she stands up?
A: Because the vacuum in her head keeps them in place.
A: How often do you see a blonde stand up?

Q: What's the difference between having sex with a blonde and eating Jell-O?
A: Jell-O wiggles when you eat it.

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't stop until it gets blood.

Q: Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses?
A: She was having sunny periods.

Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?
A: When she farts, her knees bag.

Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan?
A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.

Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.

Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the little packet.

Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A: Way to go team!

Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)

Q: Why does the blonde stand in front of a window during a thunderstorm?
A: She loves taking pictures (flashes, got it?).

Q: What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A: Full.

Q: What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?"
A: "No, I just lie there."

Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: Air pockets.

Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: "Space. The final frontier......"

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw the entire Cincinnati Bengals team?
A: Just One... Boomer Esiason.

Q: What's brown and red and black and blue?
A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.

Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.

Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
A: She didn't know what ONE came first...

Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.
A: Their mothers told them not with their mouths full.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!

Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp?
A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.

Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.

Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook.

Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: What is the difference between a crazy fighting hockey player and a blonde?
A: He is fussy by nature and would go to any length to get a puck.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shower?
A: A shower has to be turned on to get wet.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.

Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back.

Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."

Q: Why do men like blonde jokes??
A: Because they can understand them.

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.

Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws?
A: Practice.

Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

Q: Why do blondes have legs?
A: So they don't get stuck to the ground.
A: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A: So they don't leave trails, like little snails.

Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
A: So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.
A: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can't spell IROC Z.

Q: Why do blondes have periods?
A: They deserve them

Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: From dating blonde men.

Q: Why do blondes wear tampons?
A: Because crabs like Bungie Jumping too.

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!

Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.

Q: Why do blondes have orgasms ?
A: So they know when to stop having sex !

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: They can't remember the number.
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

Q: Why don't blondes breast feed?
A: Because they always burn their nipples.

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A: Introduces themselves.
A: Walks home.

Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes?
A: A brunette with bad breath.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ice cream cone?
A: Ice cream cones don't lick back.

Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood football star killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?
A: Put either of 'em in a car and their fucked.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.

Q: What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections?
A: A whine and cheese party!

Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head ?
A: Sweet Fuck All...

Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Bobbing for Bimbos.

Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
A: You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter and they'll always come back.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: What do a blonde and President Gorbachev have in common?
A: They both got fucked by 10 men whilst on holiday.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?
A: He knows who the ten men were.

Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date.
A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea.."

Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A: Never mind that! What was she doing out of the bedroom?!?

Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blonde!

Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?
A: Too many blondes were drowning.

Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?
A: They're mad enough to kill and they can retain water.

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.

Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because it missed a period.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

Q: What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).

Q: What is the blonde's favorite battery?
A: Ever-ready.

Q: What is blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, ....?
A: A blonde doing cartwheels.

Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen head lamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon?
A: A vacant possession.

Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers license test?
A: She wasn't use to the front seat!

Q: Why did she finally pass her test?
A: She took the examiner with her

Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times!

Q: What do a moped and a blonde have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
A: About 2 cans of hair spray

Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blonde's pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor

Q: What did the Blonde get on her A.C.T.?
A: Nail polish

Q: What did the blonde say when she tried driving a stick shift for the first time?
A: "How do you shift this thing?" (you make jacking off motions)

Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.

This page was last updated on Saturday, 18 March 2006

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